www.nomarriage.com

Thoughts?!!!!?!?!?!!

(WOW!)

Did a search for "nomarriage" and got nothing...

The guy that put the website together must have dated my almost Ex.

...thank goodness the internet keeps wackos like that occupied and (hopefully) off the street and out of sight.

The guy is nuts but he has some points. There is no one on the planet I'd rather be with than my wife and if she broke me tommorrow I'd think it was a good 8 year run. But if I had married some of the girls I dated in my 20's I'd be divorced and bitter or in prison.

As for kids, I agree with the "why bother" crowd. The last 60 years or so have been the first time that people didn't rely on kids for cheap farm labor or to take over the family buisness and support the folks in their old age. It sounds cold but kids have a lousy ROI. A lot of people I know my age have kids about ready to leave the nest. They love them but can't wait for them to go.

Is there a site for disgruntled single individuals?

If marriage sucked as bad as made to believe here, families would have vanished generations ago...

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2009 ML350 (106K) - Family vehicle
2001 CLK430 Cabriolet (80K) - Wife's car
2005 BMW 645CI (138K) - My daily driver
2016 Mustang (32K) - Daughter's car

As far as the website goes, I find it hard to believe that it was made by a man, let alone someone from America . Christ, every article is about how much better foreign women are. Perhaps just the propaganda of a desperate Brazilian housewife .

But as to "why bother" to have kids: If you don't, then what was your purpose in living?! You have no legacy that lives past you and you destroy any chance of being remembered the way a child could remember you. If your only purpose in life is to live and die, than why live? Isn't that a pretty bleak outlook? Do the good things that happen to you really outweigh the bad so much so that you are satisfied simply with existing?

And finally, but most importantly, if couples don't have kids then our population will decrease and we will be even easier pickings for China.

The problem isn't marriages...its the people that jump into them like they treat dinner...is it meat or fish? If more people took their time to make their decision (like a few years) and don't do it on 2 days notice or less they might find themselves happy.....I knew my wfe pretty well before hand...so I was not caught offguard with any major quirks...and no I did not live with her first....

The problem isn't marriage....its some of the idiots getting married that have the problems.

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1971 280SE W108
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Section 609 MVAC Certified
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"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche

Are you saying the only purpose in life is to breed? Man that sounds bleak to me. I'm not really concerned with being remembered or leaving a legacy but I guess if I am someday I'll donate a gym and get a statute put up on some small school. I want it to say "Knowledge is good"

As for the good things outweighing the bad; yeah, they do. I'm pretty content. The alternative you suggest, that life sucks so much a person would kill themselves if it weren't for the kid, sounds pretty depressing.

No knock on people with kids, just not for me.

[QUOTE=83mercedes]...But as to "why bother" to have kids: If you don't, then what was your purpose in living?! You have no legacy that lives past you and you destroy any chance of being remembered the way a child could remember you. If your only purpose in life is to live and die, than why live? Isn't that a pretty bleak outlook? Do the good things that happen to you really outweigh the bad so much so that you are satisfied simply with existing? ...QUOTE]

That's an interesting question and interesting response. We had kids for fullfillment of our lives and I am still happy with that reason. To me, it would be narcissistic to live a live withou kids. A self-indulgence.

But OTOH, if folks didn't like kids, I sure as heck don't want them raising any. That's how you make brats that grow into psychopaths. So in that case, childlessness benefits society, and thus, is not narcissism but a form of altruism for them NOT to have kids.

I hardly think it narcissistic. Quite the opposite, I would think having kids so you will be remembered and so you can leave a legacy would be closer to narcissism. I think deciding that the world doesn't need a little you is actually a decision made with a certain amount of humility.

Lou Reed had a song lyric that went something along "I want to have kids so another human will think I'm god" while that is certainly an exageration, I do think there is an element of that in some peoples decision. Sort of like the teenage mother who has a kid because "I want someone to love me"

Again, I'm not knocking having kids, I guess someone has to do it. Just not for us. My dogs satisfy my need to be thought of as god like.

Two sides (at least) to everything.

I can give you the angle from a divorced and still semi-skewed mind. (It still being somewhat fresh in my mind.)

Divorce is a horrible thing, but rest assured if you have kids it is 100 times worse. Often times the male's life is left a mess. The children go with the mother, the mother (often, not always) raises the child to hate their father, the father spends tons of cash on support, the wife gets Prada and the kids get Payless.

From that point of view, I *do* see where this comes from. The courts are very for-women in the family parts. Women have nothing to lose by getting married (financially). Men have much to lose.

Again, please keep in mind that there are exceptions to the rule, all of the time.

I can speak from my divorce. If there were children, my life would be a nightmare. I was married to a women that exactly opposite of what I believed she was. Had there been children, I would have to deal with that for many years to come.

Just my thoughts.

Pete

This is from a site called Divorced Dads, which attempts to debunk all of the liberal, pro-woman myths that surround divorce:

"Prof. Lenore Weitzman of Harvard University... was the author of an immensely influential 1985 study that claimed that after divorce, mothers experience a 73% drop in their standard of living and fathers a 42% rise. This study was the basis for several pieces of legislation. It turns out that her finding was based on a simple misprogramming of the computer analyzing the data which reveal that mothers end up with 73% of their former standard of living, (a 27% drop) not 73% less."

So, financially-speaking, after divorce, fathers have a 42% rise in financial standard of living, and mothers a 27% drop.

The same site says "According to a 1985 USA Today poll believed to be valid, 85% of divorced women claim to be happier post-divorce, compared to only 58% of men. Divorced women still usually have their children; divorced men often end up with nothing, relationship-wise." And "2/3 of all divorces are initiated by the woman." I find that interesting; perhaps marriage is better for the well-being of men than of women?

These sites have interesting info about how post-divorce custody arrangements are changing:
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/jointbenefits.htm
http://www.gocrc.com/research/spgrowth.html

Personally, I'm a proponent of 50/50 shared custody plans -- no child support goes either direction, and the child gets plenty of contact with both parents. My understanding also is that alimony is less common now, since so many women work through marriage.

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I dunno...

I kinda agree with some of the comments made on that site.

Like marrying foreign women, for example. I married a foreign woman (actually a dual citizen) and that's how I got my American citizenship (I'm Canadian).

It seems that foreign women know their place as females. (Flame suit on)
Before everyone gets all fired up with equality and such... I'd like for you to really appreciate the difference between the common man and woman, and realize that we are in fact very different. I'll be the first to say that my wife is intelectually more analytical and micro-manages things better. So I leave those things up to her. But when it comes to being the flagship of our family... I take the leadership position. Because I am the male. I am the conquestator.

Don't get me wrong, I treat her with as much, if not more, respect that she shows me. And I cook for her all the time. I always put her on a pedestal because that's where she deserves to be.

But she is a mother, something I can never be.
And she understands that I am the instigating decision-making male, and she will not challenge me on authority, she will however respectfully suggest things.

I'd like to make it clear that I've never hit my wife, never used any kind of force. She just has certain values instilled on her from her upbringing.

We are very happy toghether.

Another thing I agree with is "Only marry if you have kids"
This is true. And this was my thought before I got married.
This is one of the main reasons why I got married (apart from tax breaks)

But the truth is my wife makes me a stronger and happier person... and that's all I really want from life anyways.

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