Last night my daughter caught me fighting insomnia on the family room couch, in front of a flickering TV..
“Hi, Dad, what’s up?”
“Uhh, I’m trying to get some sleep, Stephanie, its 3 am...”
“Guess what, Jerry and I are going to Great Adventures tomorrow!”
“Well, I guess you guys better get some sleep…..”
“Uhh, Dad, we don’t need any! We’re like so excited, we’re leaving in twenty minutes! “We want to be the very FIRST one’s in line, that would be so Cool!”

Suddenly a 10,000 V jolt of parental anxiety took me from half slumber to full adrenaline awake! Two teenagers with no sleep driving a ratty old banger on the 100mph Turnpike alongside 100 ton tractor trailers the size of office buildings!
“Stephanie, whose car are you taking?” I was terrified.
“Jerry’s. He’s got air conditioning.”
“Oh s___”, I thought to myself. I’d seen Jerry’s car. A Honda Civic with 210,000 miles on it, a worn clutch, bald tires and clickety universal joints, fenders held on with duct tape, and cardboard on a rear window….

My mind raced rapidly, trying to figure out what I had in my motor pool the kids could safely use. The Saab Turbo? No way, Jerry would race it to 150 mph. Besides I was selling it to pay off college tuition. The Volvo 940? No way, we use that on family trips only.
That left the old reliable Mercedes 300D!
The only question mark was that it was in post overhaul condition. I drove it, but that’s because I knew what all the loose wires held together by wire nuts were doing. Also I was working on the sunroof alignment, but who uses that at 4 am in the morning?

The issue was settled! “Take the Mercedes, Stephanie. Just don’t touch any of the loose wires, don’t do anything unusual and the car will be fine.”
“No problem, Dad! Besides Jerry knows a lot about cars!”

It was 7 am when I got the call.
“Dad, uhh we like broke down on the highway one hour ago. The battery is dead.”
“Why didn’t you call me one hour ago?”
“Jerry and I were eating our sandwiches and having a deep conversation about the meaning of Life…”
“That can’t be," I thought. The car had a new battery and a new alternator and I had even run an ammeter to the dash to makes sure the charging system was okay… ..Oh sh___! Jerry had found that wire and disconnected it, breaking the charging circuit.
“Stephanie, did you touch the any of the wires I told you not to?”
“Uhh Dad…Jerry did… he was like looking for 12 Volts so he could charge his IPOD and he found this great hot wire!”
I was totally dumbfounded. “Okay Stephanie, don’t move, I’ll be right there!”

“Uhhh Dad, could you like hustle? Its raining and we got the sunroof wide open and it’s jammed and then Jerry tried to close it and I think he snapped it off the track.”