1. RULE 1 is to never look through the Living Room or kitchen windows of the houses around you. They will glow warm yellow and cheery and inside you will see warm happy family scenes, like Mom and Dad watching TV or playing with the kids, and you will think yourself Odd standing out there in the dark cold working on your Benz. You could be worse off... once in jest, I considered parking my car in the Living Room by knocking out the picture window, so I could work on it there in comfort, like Tom Cruise with his engine in the kitchen. Now that would be really odd.

2. RULE 2 is to never spend too much time looking for the 6 or 8 mm sockets or nuts or little snap rings you drop, you will never find them until dawn.

3. RULE 3 is when your neighbor drives by and says "Are you WORKING on your car at this hour ? Your hood is up and its 9 PM!" Always reply to the a__hole_ by saying, "For the sake of me, I don't know how YOUR cat climbed into there but Golly I will get him out! "

4. RULE 4 is halogen lamps seem to burn but flourescent lamps don't.

5. RULE 5 is work underneath the card when its jacked up is actually easier, because you can't feel the Icy arctic wind drafts....

I used a propane space heater in my garage when I changed out my calipers and flex hoses.

Now the car is rotting in my yard. I used to garage it so that the underframe wouldn't rust....I guess the PO didn't take that into consideration before they lied to me and sold me a hoopty-mobile.

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1982 240D.
My name is Michael, and I am an 18 year old binge-drinkin', cigar-smokin', novel-writin', all around unsavory and unnattractive guy. I tell long-winded stories, and I only shave once a week, although I've had to do it every day since I was 16.

I'd add a rule 6 for the stubborn (like me).

6: If it is too cold, and too late, and you are getting frustrated, STOP. A frustrated mechanic is worse than a drunk mechanic, and you may make drastic decisions (like dropping your tranny to retrieve a dropped wrench), or stripping out a difficult to access bolt (ask me how I know). Better to throw your tools in the trunk, and go inside for a while, the car will still be there when you calm down.

peace,
sam

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"That f***in' biodiesel is makin' me hungry."

1982 300TD Astral Silver w/ 250k (BIO BNZ)
2001 Aprilia SR50 Corsa Red w/ 5.5k (>100 MPG)

Or you can drive into a tree at 70 mph and unbuckle your seatbelt just before impact.

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1982 240D.
My name is Michael, and I am an 18 year old binge-drinkin', cigar-smokin', novel-writin', all around unsavory and unnattractive guy. I tell long-winded stories, and I only shave once a week, although I've had to do it every day since I was 16.

Glinko, this is just an idea, but have you considered taking your car to another inspection station? Around here, local shops and gas stations do the safety inspections, and some are really shady and will basically pass anything... I once bought a 125cc Honda Aero scooter, and needed to get a safety inspection to register it. I was planning on fixing it all up, but I knew it had several major problems (no rear brakes (!), rust on the frame, cracked tires, completely shot (rigid) front suspension, no electrical, etc.). I took it to this shady little gas station near my place. The guy comes out with the form, looks at it, says, "How fast that little thing go?" I say, "Oh, bout 60 when its running good." and he says, OK, signs the form, gives me the sticker and says, "That'll be ten buck." I pay the man, and limp the thing home to get to work. At first I thought, "Boy, that is terribly dishonest of him." But then I though, "Ah, but handy for me!"

I'm not suggesting that you never fix the car, you should do what you can to repair the damage at least enough to make the car safe, but its hard to do that if you can't even register it, so it could be handy to have a less reputable safety inspector...

peace,
sam

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"That f***in' biodiesel is makin' me hungry."

1982 300TD Astral Silver w/ 250k (BIO BNZ)
2001 Aprilia SR50 Corsa Red w/ 5.5k (>100 MPG)

RULE 7: Dress/prepare well and do everything you are going to do in one shot. That is, don't go back in for a little while. You won't want to go back. But remember RULE 6. That's about as true as it gets.

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'82 300SD - 361K mi - "Blue"

"Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement."

listen, look, .........and duck.

I can get a sticker thrown on it, for certain. friend-o-mine is a mechanic and he'll just slap the sticker on the window without even pulling into the garage.

I dunno, I'm just pissed off, it's a slap in the face when your car fails inspection.

Rule Number 8: Wear something warm under that jump suit.

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1982 240D.
My name is Michael, and I am an 18 year old binge-drinkin', cigar-smokin', novel-writin', all around unsavory and unnattractive guy. I tell long-winded stories, and I only shave once a week, although I've had to do it every day since I was 16.

When I lived in NH (long ago) I got my safety inspections at a place that literally didn't look at the cars. I would bring one car with the paperwork for both my cars and get two stickers. On Sat mornings there would be a line of people to "buy" their stickers.

How fitting. I was working on the car from 3 am to 8 this morning trying to get the DAMN ignition switch out.

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82 300D....went to MB heaven
90 350 SDL....excercising con rods

Rule 9 don't unless you have to.

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2016 Corvette Stingray 2LT
1969 280SE
2023 Ram 1500
2007 Tiara 3200

Thats the rule I follow these days....at least since I got frostbite sticking a monster motor into my honda.....

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Proud owner of ....
1971 280SE W108
1979 300SD W116
1983 300D W123
1975 Ironhead Sportster chopper
1987 GMC 3/4 ton 4X4 Diesel
1989 Honda Civic (Heavily modified)
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Section 609 MVAC Certified
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"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." - Friedrich Nietzsche

Here is another.

Rule 10: Know the hours of all your local parts stores, so you know where to go if you need something late at night.

A friend of mine who is a full time delivery driver and who maintains a small personal fleet of the most beat up looking diesel VWs you've ever seen (but they sure run great) turned me on to a particular Autozone that is open until Midnight on most nights! How cool! It could be 11:30pm and you could run out for some basic parts or tools. Some truck stops have auto-parts sections that are open 24/7 too, just know where they are ahead of time so you know where you can go if you have too.

peace,
sam

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"That f***in' biodiesel is makin' me hungry."

1982 300TD Astral Silver w/ 250k (BIO BNZ)
2001 Aprilia SR50 Corsa Red w/ 5.5k (>100 MPG)

11 If its really cold outside, plan ahead and bring the tools INSIDE when u need them... nothing like warm tools in icy hands
12 do NOT warm your hands over a fire when theyre numb... u'll burn them (like me ) because you loose feeling in them
13 for god sakes, do NOT oil your hair with cold motor oil... make it warm before dunking your head into it (who hasnt done that?)

14 Just to piss off your neibors (if u have bad ones) play some music all the while your working

15 Its easier to just fix some things before they break, then to bypass them (uncle bypassed a heater core in the 80's... guess when he it fixed)

~Nate

rule 16: If you have the funds and space, get one of these! http://www.shelterlogic.com/ I got one for the truck and its a godsend. RT

rule 17: Purchase Carhartt insulated jumpsuit. Toasty like FLA in July. Well, not really but you get the point. RT

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When all else fails, vote from the rooftops!
84' Mercedes Benz 300D Anthracite/black, 171K
03' Volkswagen Jetta TDI blue/black, 93K
93' Chevrolet C2500HD ExCab 6.5TD, Two-tone blue, 252K

I'm going to be nice and not say anything.

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Jim