Most of us probably have more to give our kids than our parents were able to give us at the same age.

The tendency is to make their lives easier than ours growing up. I know that my son(s) have it easier without me giving them any extras than I did.

Not dirt poor, but a lot of struggles, no heat in winter, lights always gettting cut off for lack of payment, never having money to buy tires for cars, family handouts, etc...

I have tried to impress upon my kids how hard it was for me and my sisters and how easy they have it but it's hard to convey when they have cell phones, video games, no sense of loss, etc......

If I had it all to do over again, I would have been more strict, and tied everything into work. You want a game, work in the yard. You want an allowance, do your chores, no exceptions.

The no exceptions part is the most important part. Once you give in, they want more.

For example:

I'll tell my kids to clean the yard as part of their duties and watch them while they do it. They do it half-assed leaving crap all over the place knowing that I'll get pissed and tell them to get the fock out of the house and do it myself. The now I don't have patience so they turn that against me. I have learned and now just tell them to clean up and if it isn't done right, I'll empty the trash can out and they start over.

It's never easy and I'm sure we all do it different, but spoiling them and then expecting them to not be focked up is not the right way for sure.

They can't just receive, receive and receive without first giving.

I also used to give them 50 bucks and let them pay it off by working afterwards. Bad move, they half assed everything. Now they work before I give them anything.

Two things have happened. One is that they ask for less because they realize they have to work. The other is that they pay more attention to doing things right so they get whatever they wanted.

This is one of my favorite topics and I know that engatwork and I can give you examples up the wazoo if you need
'em

In the end, most of it comes down to us and not doing our jobs right. I know of Jim's struggles with his wife spoilng his son and those are always things to look at as well.

Best of luck!

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