AP Dateline Stuttgart, April 1, 2005 - DaimlerChrysler announced today an aggressive program to rid the world of the standard "gasoline" engine by offering a free S400 CDI sedan to anyone willing to trade their present gas-burning Mercedes model, regardless of its age or condition.
Long known as the ultimate in humanitarians, the DaimlerChrysler's diesel division spokesman I.P. Klakenkampf said the programme is aimed at creating "brand awareness" by aiming for 100% diesel market penetration. When queried as to how the company plans to make a profit by giving away brand new, top-of-the-line models Klakenkampf's reply was "we'll make up on volume what we lose initially on margins..." and "...once these overly complex, computer controlled diesel engines start failing we can look forward to a near endless cash stream on out-of-warranty repairs" (loosely translated from German text).
Present owners are urged to contact their nearest authorized Mercedes Benz dealer in order to pre-qualify for this trade programme. The programme code is "April Fools"
