Two of my favorites:

I had to drive your Honor. I was too drunk to walk.

No Your Honor, I wasn't trying to show my contempt for the court. I was trying to hide it.

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85SD 240K & stopped counting painted, putting bac together. 84SD 180,000. sold to a neighbor and member here but I forget his handle. The 84 is much improved from when I had it. 85TD beginning to repair to DD status. Lots of stuff to do.